Bimbo training – “Basic bimbo rules: A bimbo must not have a single hair on her body – aside from her scalp hair and her eye lashes”

What was one of THE important recipes for success of Mattels Barbie doll? Exactly – the long combable hair (pro tip: Watch the Netflix documentary “The Toys That Made Us, Episode 2 “Barbie”)! This isn’t a surprise, regarding how firmly rooted in society the relationship between girls and long hair is – both, on the one hand the preference of having long hair and on the other hand the liking of “playing with” aka combing and styling long hair. In addition, the eternal, heavy makeup of the original Barbie doll shows us some huge, dramatically swung, long eyelashes, and with that, completing the list of areas where a bimbo should have hair on her body:

Both, long, voluminous scalp hair and long, voluminous eyelashes are heavily regarded as “typical feminine” – even in nowadays society, and are still tertiary distinctive features between “typical males and typical females”. Therefore, it comes to no surprise, that every bimbo is obliged to have long, healthy, voluminous, pristine (preferably blond, preferably reaching down to her butt, supported with extensions) scalp hair and dramatic, swung, voluminous eyelashes (supported with makeup and fake eyelashes), but what else did Barbie showcase us by NOT showing? Barbies slick, smooth plastic body does NOT possess a single body hair beneath her lower eyeline, which is indicatory for the rule we are talking about today.

Hair is an evolutionary remnant of our ancestors, who needed a natural protection against cold temperatures, rain and winter. We lost most of it over the decades, because with the progression of mankind, the vital advantage of having this fur coat has become unnecessary. What we are left with today, is nothing more than a redundant leftover from these primitive forerunners of mankind, reminding us of where we came from, which is, to be honest, quite an ungainly thought, regarding the inelegant, savage nature of our ancestors, lacking any form of elegance, grace or grandeur. However, we already stated, that at least two kinds of hair DO in fact play a role for our differentiation between attractive and not attractive: Females with long hair are commonly regarded as vastly more attractive than females with short or no hair, as well as girls with huge eyelashes are perceived as far more sexy than girls with unobtrusive lashes.

Eyelashes are one of the few types of female body hair to make it into the ‘good, emphasize’ category and not the ‘bad, eliminate’ one.” – The Cut “What Is the Point of Long Eyelashes?”

So – these two things have to stay, right? Right! A bimbo has to cultivate and care for her long scalp hair and her eyelashes (both will get separate articles and a series!), but what about the rest? Just following Barbie, it is very easy to understand what the basic rule here is:

From her lower eyeline downwards, a bimbo MUST NOT have a single hair, stubbles or fuzz on her body!

The body of a bimbo has to be a flawless, hairless, pristine, smooth, soft, slick, perfect and plastic like surface, without any remnants of our savage forefathers, that would disrupt the elegant, beautiful and plastic-perfect appeal of a bimbos body, directly opposing ALL bimbofication ideals! You are NOT a primitive savage! You are NOT a tree climbing primate! You are NOT dependent on the cruel, inelegant, imperfect, unaesthetic despotism of nature! YOU are an artificially enhanced, feminine, elegant, graceful object of aesthetic mastery and feminine beauty and perfection! NOT without a reason do certain tendencies within the groups feminism try to propagate the incitement of a refusal to shape legs and armpits, as a partly act of destroying perceived femininity and sexappeal. As we know, these attempts at destroying femininity are directly opposing bimbofication and have to be rejected by true bimbo dolls! Take care of even the tiniest hair on your body, even the most dainty fuzz has to be eradicated! To achieve this, laser body hair removal procedures are strongly advised, besides regular shaving, waxing and using depilatory creams and other products! Make sure your skin is absolutely hair- and fuzz-less and in a healthy, pristine and flawless condition! It has to feel like piano lacquer – without any stubbles or fuzz!

And abover her eyeline? Well, we know that her eyelashes and her scalp hair have to stay, but what about the rest? Easy again: Everything else has to go! Especially that soft, dainty fuzz covering the face of every human is absolutely not tolerable! Apart from the ungainly connotations we already talked about and the unfeminine, unpleasant appeal, there is a practical reason why this facial hair and facial fuzz CAN NOT stay: Makeup and powder tend to stick to these very dainty hairs, making them even more visible, resulting in a sticky mess with very visible crumbs of powder and a porous, rough and brittle looking skin surface! This is the complete opposite of the look a bimbo should be going for! We already talked about the goal we are striving for, a porcelain-like, smooth and slick facial skin, for which the last thing we need are tiny hairs, flimsy fuzz, dry and brash makeup and crumbs of powder! Apart from a hair removing laser therapy, another very suitable method is a professional “theading” session, where your hair gets removed with a… thread. Do this regularly!

Last but not least, a topic we will cover within a future part of our PBA makeup series, namely the eyebrows of a bimbo. Nowadays, distinct, natural eyebrows are en vogue again, which is an absolute desaster! However, very recently, there was even a time, in which extremely bushy, huge eyebrows were popular (tbh: I always felt the need to throw up, seeing those “Neanderthalian” eyebrows… can it be any more unfeminine and unsexy???). A true bimbo looks back at the 90s, a decade in which it was very trendy to get rid of your natural eyebrows completely, repainting and redesigning them with makeup or permanent makeup, preferably as a thin, swung line. This thin line, was drawn slightly above where the natural eyebrows once were, letting the eyes appear bigger and more open. As you might already have expected: THIS is the way to go! Eradicate your natural eyebrows, get rid of even the smallest, last hair and apply artificial, thin, swung, dramatic, feminine, elegant eyebrows with makeup or permanent makeup – like a true bimbo does!

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